Island Sexual Health Society Be informed, not surprised!

Healthy relationships

2006 June 21

When we start a new relationship we are often so in love that we tend to wear “rose coloured glasses” when it comes to knowing if this relationship is a good one or not!

Is it healthy? Is it respectful? Do we feel good about who we are and about who we are with?

Relationships can be one of the best– and most difficult– parts of your life. They can be exciting, challenging, electrifying, intense and also lots of work. Be choosy about who you get involved with; make sure that they have the same qualities that you admire in your friends or your family. After all, not only are you in love with them, you need to like them as well.

Relationships are about:

* friendship and respect
* patience and tolerance
* trust and intimacy
* understanding and support

h3. Healthy partners quiz

Unsure about whether your relationship is a good one or not? Take this quiz and see if your S.O. meets your expectations.

1. Does your partner get jealous when you spend time with friends or family doing acitivities that you enjoy?

2. Do you share common interests?

3. Does your partner remember things that are important to you?

4. Do you make decisions mutually about how you spend your time together and about how intimate you are comfortable being?

5. Does your partner pressure you to do things you are not comfortable with?

6. Do you feel OK saying “no” to your partner?

7. Does your partner help you to feel good about yourself? Do they listen and respect your opinions?

8. Does your partner want to be the only one in charge of your relationship?

9. Can you be honest about how you are feeling and talk about it freely?

10. Do you feel valued by your partner? Do you feel supported by your partner in difficult situations?

If you answered YES to questions 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9 and 10 it is likely that your relationship is a good one.

If you answered YES to 1, 5 or 8 you need to re-evaluate your relationship as it may be an unhealthy one.

See our “healthy relationship links”:/resources/links/#relationships for more ideas.